What Will Marlena Do?

Next on #DOOL – Marlena: “What will I do without you?” John: “You could buy a vibrator.” #Days

Chloe Has It All Together

Today on #DOOL: Brady tells Victor Chloe has gotten everything together. Yeah, except for her legs, that is. #Days

Caesar

A guy walks into a... um... house of ill repute and one of the... um... employees recognizes him. She tells the other girls, "This guy has the biggest um... you know what you've ever seen and he calls it Caesar." Intrigued, the girls gather 'round the guy and ask for a um... preview. The guy obliges and the girls are amazed. They lavish praise and admiration on his well-endowed nature. This goes on for a long time and finally the guy reaslizes he's running out of time and hasn't um... accomplished the purpose of his visit. He backs the girls off and brings things to a halt saying, "I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him."

Prevuze Advisor 01/03/10

Dear Prevuze Advisor: I watched with interest on New Year's Eve as a certain DOOL actor went on what I can only speculate was an alcohol-induced rampage on Twitter, disrespecting that great American icon Dick Clark for participating in his traditional New Year's show after a recent battle with health issues. In his valiant attempt, Mr. Clark unfortunately produced a 'less than perfect' performance, but I have to give the guy credit for trying and was glad to see him keep the tradition alive. I can only hope and pray he is able to do it again next year. If that were not enough, said actor then launched into several 'Tweets' in which he expounded on the joys of the Kama Sutra and subjected his fans to an analysis of a few (blush) positions, concluding the 'starfish' was most appropriate for achieving... uh... certain results for all involved. I must say I'm still at a loss to figure out the physics behind the 'starfish' position, but that's really beside the point. My question for you, O Great Advisor, is do you think this actor behaved appropriately by publicly trashing Mr. Clark and then subjecting his Twitter followers, many of whom are mere innocent teenyboppers, to an eye-popping education in naked coeducational callisthenics? Thanks, Rafe "American-Bandstand-Forever" Hernandez * * * * *Dear Rafe: Twitter is an open, unmoderated forum where people can share their God-given right to free speech, regardless of the level of appropriateness of its content. To put it another way and to quote some of the great, deep — dare I say inspiring — dialog I have heard from you on DOOL, "It is what it is." For all the criticism I have leveled at "The Powers That Be" on DOOL, it does seem they require a certain level of social appropriateness from the show's talent. It is not for us to judge, but if TPTB feel the actor in question behaved inappropriately, he might just find them suggesting he try a few of those Kama Sutra positions on himself, if you catch my drift. Sincerely, The Prevuze Advisor